


What's New, Pussycat

by gaymingtrash



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 02:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5691445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaymingtrash/pseuds/gaymingtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke comes up with a foolproof plan to spice things up in the bedroom, based on all the things he knows Anders likes. There is no way it could possibly go wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's New, Pussycat

There were a few conclusions Hawke felt comfortable drawing about his otherwise mysterious lover with his mysterious past.

From the many, many nights they slept together - while not sleeping - Hawke concluded that Anders loved sex.

From the more than one occasion they spent together as ‘evil magister’ and ‘righteous Champion’, where the evil magister had to persuade the righteous Champion of Kirkwall to let him live by any means necessary, Hawke concluded that Anders loved roleplay.

From, well, having spent any time whatsoever with the man, Hawke concluded that Anders loved cats.

It seemed like a fair conclusion to take from these three matters, that Anders would enjoy sex (tick!) with roleplay (tick!) where Hawke was dressed like a cat (tick!).

* * *

It was a warm night at the Amell estate where Hawke lay in wait for his lover. He was wearing a fleece-y garment from head to toe, with a hood included, that had a striped tiger pattern on it. It also, most importantly, included a tail, and two little cat ears on the hood. While he wasn’t wearing anything underneath it, Kirkwall summers were hot, and he could feel the inside of the fleece cling a little to his dampening skin. Hopefully Anders would be home from the clinic soon, and he could strip - or be stripped - out of it.

Time passed. Slightly more time than Hawke wanted to be waiting on his bed with nothing else to do. It wasn’t as if he could leave the room dressed as he was - what if Orana saw him? Or Bodahn? Or - Maker forbid - Sandal? He tugged at the neck of the garment to let some air in the hopes of cooling himself down. At the very least, if he did leave the room, nobody would hear him - even his feet were softly covered. Even given his bulk, he could only gently pad across the floor.

Hawke heard the creak of the opening front door, and quickly positioned himself to look as alluring as he could. He’d had to wait, but it would all be worth it by the end of the night of mind-blowing sex that was surely imminent. He could barely conceal his anticipation, but he forced himself to hide it under a sexy, pouty veneer.

“Hawke, I -” Anders began. Hawke saw him stop, a little taken aback, before he burst out laughing. He doubled over, bracing his hands against his knees for balance while he laughed so hard that he began to wheeze. Eventually he was entirely silent, but his shoulders were heaving and tears of mirth streamed down his cheeks. Hawke sat himself upright from his previous seductive pose, a little confused.

It took Anders many attempts to calm himself, at which point he sat down on the edge of the bed. In the mean time, there were just brief pauses between outbursts of laughter, and in the later stages, giggling.

Hawke took the hood down, with a shake of his head.

“Not my best idea?” he offered.

“An excellent idea, love,” Anders replied, with a grin.

“I was trying to be sexy!” Hawke pouted, flicking the tail in Anders’s direction.

“Very sexy,” Anders replied, taking the tail and bopping Hawke on the nose with it. “What are you wearing under that, anyway?”

“Nothing, actually,” Hawke said.

“Maybe this can be saved, then,” Anders said, in a mock-sultry tone with a raised eyebrow.

“Mrow!” came Hawke’s reply, as the mage tipped him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him.

The room was silent except for the quiet sound of kisses and quiet giggles, until: “…how do we take this off, anyway?”

**Author's Note:**

> This was possibly the most fun I have had writing in a really, really long time. Screw angst, it's all about the kitty onesies from here on out!
> 
> Inspired by a kink meme prompt, probably for the only time this will ever happen, because kink memes are dark territory, friends.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [What's New, Pussycat (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6101086) by [therealmnemo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealmnemo/pseuds/therealmnemo)




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